What's with Madonna?

What is it with Madonna adopting/stealing other people's 'orphaned' children?

Aren't there enough truly parent-less children in the world she could adopt?

Three years ago, she flew to Malawi to adopt a boy whose father truly wanted him but could not afford to raise him. He had placed him in an orphanage after his mother's death so that his son would be fed and clothed, but he hoped some day to be able to care for him himself. When he objected to the superstar's petition to adopt his son, he lost the boy anyway. The child flew off to England, presumably never to be seen again by his father.

Now Madonna plans to adopt a Malawi girl to be the boy's sister. Both of her parents are dead -- that's a good start -- but her maternal grandmother is close to the child and plans to adopt her when the girl turns six. By the time the little girl turns six, however, she will be living on another continent. Her grandmother will probably never see her again.

There are thousands of children in the world -- and probably in Africa, probably even in Malawi -- who have NO ONE in the world to care for them under any circumstances. Why doesn't Madonna try to bond with one of these children instead of children who have family ties? I just don't get it.

I am not Madonna, but if I were, I like to think that I would have used my wealth and power to make it possible for the young boy's father to raise the boy himself. I like to think I would have expedited the union between grandmother and grandchild. Then I would have continued my search for a true orphan to adopt of my own.

I am certain that people who live in poverty love their children no less than Madonna loves hers. The poor people of Malawi have almost nothing of a material nature, but the most fortunate among them have families, which may be their only source of love and happiness. Why take their children from them just because you're Madonna and you can?

(The cynical side of me has considered the possibility that the boy's father and the girl's grandmother are only trying to extort money from Madonna. That's a possibility...but all the more reason to select a child with no living relatives.)

If I Were an Ocean Creature, I'd Want to Be a Sea Turtle

Picture: a green sea turtle off the shore of Kona, Hawaii being cleaned by yellow tangs.

We visited the small but wonderful Albuquerque Aquarium a couple of weeks ago and enjoyed looking at the sharks and jelly fish, even the eels. But the sea turtles were my favorite!

I loved watching them float almost effortlessly in the water. They appear to be flying, using their rear flippers and tail to steer.

There are only seven species of sea turtles inhabiting all of the world's oceans except the Arctic. They spend all of their lives at sea except when females come ashore to lay their eggs on beaches, usually the same beaches they were hatched on.

Here is more information about sea turtles from a Florida State University web site:

"Sea turtles are air-breathing reptiles that spend most of their lives in the ocean. After hatching, male sea turtles spend their entire lives at sea. Female sea turtles must periodically return to sandy beaches to lay eggs. With a streamlined shell and large, paddle-like flippers, sea turtles are well-adapted to life at sea. However, these characteristics hinder the heavy females on land during the laborious nesting process. When the females awkwardly lumber ashore to nest, they are near-sighted and virtually defenseless. Depending upon the species, adult sea turtles can weigh between seventy-five and 2000 pounds, and the largest can reach a length of over eight feet. Sea turtles grow slowly and are believed to have a long life span."

At other sites I learned:

• They can stay underwater for up to three hours without surfacing to breathe if they are sleeping. When active, they usually surface every five to 15 minutes. (The sea turtle's nostrils are on top of its head, so that it won't have to stick its whole head out of the water to breathe.)
• Sea turtles cannot retract their heads and limbs into their shells, like land turtles can. Angry sharks can and do mame and kill sea turtles, though at the aquarium they shared a large tank peacefully.
• They enjoy eating jelly fish because they can't swim away.
• They have three sets of eyelids to help them see under water.
• They sleep in underwater caves and in the spaces between rocks.
• A female baby sea turtle leaves the nest and goes into the sea (attracted by the dancing light on the water surface), not to return to land for 20+ years when she will make a nest of her own. Male sea turtles never come ashore again, so less is known about them.
• The royal family of Tonga owned a sea turtle that survived (allegedly) from 1777 until 1965.
• The sea turtle symbolizes freedom, peace, patience, and wisdom.

One web site summarized fascination with sea turtles by stating:

"Like Mother Nature, the turtle is unhurried, wise, and enduring. She walks on land, swims in water, and breathes the air. She embodies three of the four elements of creation. We have much to learn from Turtle."

Do all people identify with animals like this?

What animals intrigue you?

Two Thought Provoking Mnemonics

mnemonic: pertaining to memory

The older I get, the more I appreciate mnemonic devices to help me remember important concepts. And they seem to work!

A few years ago I learned that children need three things from their parents (and I really believe it's true!) The three A's are:

attention

affection &

approval

A new book out this week states that a "real man" desires to do three things for the woman in his life (and, I would add, his children). The three P's are:

profess his love

protect &

provide

Cue the Outrage

Cue the Outrage -- that would be the title of my book if I were inclined to write about media manipulation of public opinion. It's a great title, but I have no intention of writing such a book. I'll just sit here and shake my head at the waves of public outrage, which are no less predictable than the waves of the sea.

Personally, I rarely experience outrage of any kind, so I guess I have a pretty long fuse, which is a great blessing.

Partly, that's because of a Leo Tolstoy quote I have grappled with for many, many years: "To understand is to forgive everything." After mulling it over, I've concluded that Tolstoy's statement is not quite true. I would re-phrase it: "To understand is to forgive (almost) everything." [There are some actions that my finite mind, anyway, cannot accept.] In general, though, I do believe that if we truly understood why people do what they do or say what they say or think what they think, we would be more forgiving. A simple apology would be enough, and fewer people would have to check into rehab for off-the-cuff, insensitive remarks, etc.

I was a debater in high school and college, but rather than developing a zeal for argument, debate mellowed me. I learned to argue both sides of every issue. When I went to the final round of a tournament in Missouri, my teammates loaned me their enormous index card files -- huge metal drawers, some of which were empty -- to intimidate the competition. It looked like we had mountains of evidence, and it worked -- we won the tournament. (Who knows if all of those file drawers were a factor?) I don't remember if we were pro or con, but the point is, it didn't matter. Manipulating the judges was the point, swaying them. My partner and I were the wind that made the tall grass blow and it was exhilarating.

But today, unless it's an issue of physical or spiritual life and death, I rarely, if ever, argue with anyone. This isn't because I'm unsure of my position or unable to articulate it -- it's because I value peace...and because I've discovered for myself the futility of yelling into the wind...and because I approve of people holding opinions contrary to my own, allowing for the possibility that on some level we may both be right. Maybe the very existence of our two philosophies will create a harmonious balance, if we do not feel compelled to disturb the peace by hollering at each other.

(This is not to imply that I have become some sort of wussy moderate. The more life experience I have on Planet Earth, the more conservative I become. [I have evolved...I was actually a registered Democrat at 18! What was I thinking?] Maybe some day I will march on Washington or wear a sandwich board sign or engage in debate concerning some passionate cause, but for now, I'm just enjoying some peace.)

It'a Amazing I Have Any Clothes at All

With a family wedding coming up in a matter of days, I broke down and went shopping today...all day...for something to wear. I want to strike the right tone -- nothing too garish, nothing too somber, nothing too wintry or summery...and I ended up with just plain nothing.

So as a last resort I'm going to go through my own closet tonight to see what's in there.

Snowdrops

This morning on a quiet street not far from here where children from four families merge to form one carpool, one of the other moms rolled down her window to tell me excitedly that her snowdrops are blooming.

'Snowdrops?' I asked. I'd never really heard of them before. I always thought crocus came up first, then daffodils, then phlox, then tulips, then iris. After that I lose track with flowers popping out on trees and in flower beds everywhere for several months until the fall, when they all die again.

So this evening I searched online for pictures of snowdrops, which often bloom as early as January or February, I found out. And they're beautiful! Of course I've seen them before without ever really noticing them.

So I will make a note to plant some snowdrop bulbs this fall. In Scotland they have snowdrop festivals to celebrate them as the first sign of spring.