Happy Leap Day!

"The Office" Coming Back April 10th

Just wanted to share my joy that "The Office" will be back with a new episode on April 10th.

When we last saw Michael Scott he was sitting on the edge of an open boxcar with Jan, financially ruined by her extravagance and ready to ride the rails as a bum. Her reaction to this crisis was surprisingly compassionate. Maybe they do have a future....

What a great cast of characters! Can't wait to become acquainted with them again. I miss them all.

A Writing Analogy

Getting ready to write fiction is a lot like building a fire without matches.

I choose a patch of dusty earth in an airy but windless cove, then make a small mound out of twigs, dry leaves, steel wool, if I have it, lint, wood shavings, bits of bark...anything that will burn. (There is a quaint term for dry, flammable material: tinder.) Crouching into a ridiculously uncomfortable postion, I strike a steel blade against a splinter of flint over and over again, as rapidly as possible, until sparks begin igniting in quick succession. At first they are almost instantly, mysteriously extinguished. I begin to think that the tinder isn't dry enough or that I do not have the energy to continue, that I am becoming exhausted in the effort and should just go do laundry, when one spark lands on the edge of a withered leaf, which sends up an orange plume.

Quickly setting aside the stone and knife, I move the tendril of a dry weed to intersect the flame. Soon the whole mound is glowing, snapping, spitting, but I know that it it will burn out soon if I do not breathe on it to keep it alive. I must hover over it and give it air while blindly selecting combustible fodder from a secondary pile of wood close at hand. I lay pieces carefully on the fire, hoping not to smother the now flickering, now flaundering flame.

I coax it into a larger and larger conflagration, not wanting a bonfire or an inferno, exactly, but something small and warm that I can work with. On a good writing day, whole trees are reduced to powdery ash as I tend this fire, pausing from my task to rotate a log or stir coals.

Eventually, the fire is completely gone. Only a half dozen computer screens remain.

Please Suggest New Words

When I learned years ago that Canola oil (CANadian Oil, Low Acid) had been re-named from its original designation as 'rapeseed oil' for obvious marketing reasons, it got me thinking: many of the words we use every day NEED to be replaced. By replaced I mean euthanized, not euphamized. For example:

vegetable

We know we are supposed to eat vegetables, and they can be delicious if fresh and properly prepared - I'm not denying that - but the word is too long, too outdated, and too British. Is it supposed to be three syllables or four? With emphasis on the first or second? Some people have attempted to make the word more child-friendly by calling vegetables 'veggies,' which is all right in its plural form, I guess, but if mothers and nutritionists sincerely want us to eat more vegetables, we need to come up with a snappier, sexier word. Your suggestions?

artichoke

What a perfectly awful word for anything as edible and delicious as an artichoke! I know lots of people who think they don't like artichokes, and I can only assume it's the name, which has made this vegetable the brunt of jokes (Arty Chokes 3 for a Dollar...) Artichokes do not look edible and they certainly do not sound edible. Nothing that is safe to eat should have the word 'choke' in its name. But they are one of my very favorite 'veggies.' Your suggestions?

asparagus

Ditto asparagus. I LOVE it despite its name, but how many people (especially children) shun it entirely because it sounds just awful! There's nothing that tastes better or is better for you than asparagus -- it deserves a better name. Any ideas?

broccoli

Ditto broccoli, a vegetable that has been defamed by past presidents. I knew a three-year-old boy who loved broccoli, but he didn't call it by its proper name - his mother taught him to call it 'little trees.' Mothers shouldn't have to be so wise and sneaky. We need a new word!

hummus

I never tried hummus until I was in my 30s, probably because its name makes it generally unpopular. It hardly sounds like the party food that it is. Hummus is made of ground up chickpeas (try not to picture fuzzy yellow baby chicks) mixed with delicious seasonings and it's great as a dip or a spread. But with a name like hummus, who would eat it spontaneously without being culturally exposed to it, urged on by someone who's gone before? It sounds like some sort of gelatinous residue, so it needs a new name. Any suggestions?

housewife

As mentioned in my post yesterday, we desparately need a new term for this word! There are some well established euphamisms, but none of them quite works for me: homemaker (not too bad, I guess, though I picture a burley guy in steel-toe boots), caretaker (think: cemetery), domestic goddess (think: Zha Zha Gabor), helpmeet (too Biblical), stay-at-home mom (we are usually mobile; we do occasionally leave the house)...No matter what we call 'housewives,' I think we can all agree that no one is or can be married to a house. Any ideas?

I'm sure there are a hundred other words that could be added to this list. Please let me know if there are any that bother you and we can start a crusade.

Ready to Run

I hate to call it a 'dirty little secret' or a 'professional hazard,' but it is: housewives (Can we come up with a better term, please?!) do not have to wake up, shower immediately, and dress for the day down to their shoes -- and often they (we, as in the royal we) do not. We put it off until everyone else has had a shot at some hot water, found their socks, coats, backpacks, and gym clothes, eaten breakfast, made sack lunches...We put it off, in short, until we are due for our first break, which usually happens when the door closes and everyone is gone.

Then we're faced with a new dilemma: what's the hurry? I can clean the breakfast dishes and transfer laundry in my pajamas if I delay opening the blinds. I can check my blog, do the crossword, straighten the living room, make some phone calls, do the bills...Pretty soon it's 10:30 in the morning and we're still debating when to take a shower and get dressed, or, worse yet, a child calls from school and needs something, no time to shower -- throw some clothes on and go, now!

I know that not all 'housewives' are this easily distracted. When I run the carpool in clothes hastily thrown on from last night's heap I see well-coiffed, stay-at-home mothers, already neatly dressed and accessorized, their make-up carefully applied. These women are few and far between, but they are out there, and I don't begrudge them their superiority. They've earned it. It's not easy to be so on top of things at 7:30 in the morning. I salute them.

These women are setting a good example for me, which I appreciate, but they do remind me (however unintentionally) of my own unkempt appearance. They are ready to go from school curb to board room (okay, I may be exaggerating...but they are ready to talk to the principal, if necessary) while I am hesitant even to duck into Wal-Mart.

So yesterday, while contemplating my goals in light of my new 'strength' iniative (see last post), I decided that the greatest change I could make in order to get more out of each day and feel good about myself would be to start the day READY for anything. Rather than being the last one in the shower I would be first, and the first dressed, too. I had my shoes on before anyone else was even awake. That was over two hours ago. It's not quite 9:00 am and I have already accomplished more today than I did through half of yesterday.

When I came downstairs to make a hot breakfast for everyone, I noticed yesterday's newspaper on the table and realized: hey, my shoes are on. I can walk down the driveway and get today's paper and have it sitting on the table for Scott to read while enjoying his eggs. (Aside: He often complains that he never even sees the paper.) I know it's a small, small thing, to be able to go outside, but I can't tell you how free I felt.

When my son Tom came into the kitchen he asked, "What's gotten into you, Mom?" When my husband came downstairs he asked, "What's gotten into you, Cheryl?"

It's all because of clean hair, clean clothes, and, most importantly, SHOES.

Strength Training

I grew up in the 1970s when self-improvement books flourished and pop-psyche was all the rage. I remember reading passages from I'm Okay, You're Okay when I was in elementary school (perplexed by the space given to pictures in this otherwise 'adult' book), as well as Virginia Satir's People Making, among others. No wonder I thought the answers to all human mysteries could be found in books.

At home my parents tried to convey a pop-psyche understanding to their children, assuming, I suppose, that such knowledge would help us lead better lives. My father told us not to send 'witch messages' (i.e., not to insult or demean). We were not to be in parent mode (bossy) or child mode (needy) - nevermind that we were children and had legitimate needs. Adult mode was always preferable. It occurs to me now that a re-reading of the pop-psyche books from our family library of the time would probably explain a lot forensically about my childhood.

One of the major assertions of such books is that people can change for the better through conscious effort. From an early age I learned that if there was something I didn't like about myself or something I thought I was doing wrong, I could change course. I could be someone else: just recognize an undesirable tendency, read a book, and eliminate it.

I learned to approach human weaknesses (my own, especially) in whack-a-mole fashion: a negative tendancy here (whack it!), an unpleasant inclination there (whack it!) My favorite sit-com character, Barney Fife, spoke my favorite television wisdom of all time: "Nip it, nip it, nip it! Nip it in the bud!" That's the un-romantic advice I always give to newlyweds when they pass a book around for such counsel at wedding showers. I also suggest this approach to parents learning to wrangle toddlers. React to negative behavior early before it drives you crazy later on. I still think this is a wise method, though, in restrospect, it doesn't promote the human virtue of patience, which I am often lacking.

But last week I read something that has me thinking of a new approach. Rather than identifying, isolating, and eliminating my weaknesses, one by one, maybe I should focus on my strengths, making them bigger, stronger, more noticeable. Because they are strengths, I have always let them stand on their own and fend for themselves while I've battled my weaknesses. I've neglected them in much the same way a parent deprives a well-behaved child of attention in an attempt to correct a poorly behaved sibling. I've been repairing potholes instead of paving new highways.

I've always thought of myself as an optimist, but what have I been optimizing? From this point forward, I will seek to optimize my strengths.

Happy Valentine's Day

Wishing you a very

romantic

Valentine's Day!

Five carefully selected love poems (The last one, my favorite, was written by John Donne to his wife as he was embarking on a trip to France.)

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no, it is an ever fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the start to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
- William Shakespeare, Sonnet #116


A THING of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its lovliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon,
Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon
For simple sheep; and such are daffodils
With the green world they live in; and clear rills
That for themselves a cooling covert make
'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake,
Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms:
And such too is the grandeur of the dooms
We have imagined for the mighty dead;
An endless fountain of immortal drink,
Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.
- John Keats



Where true Love burns
Desire is Love's pure flame;
It is the reflex of our earthly frame,
That takes its meaning from the nobler part,
And but translates the language of the heart.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge




If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
"I love her for her smile, her look, her way
Of speaking gently, for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of ease on such a day"
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee, and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheek dry,
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

As virtuous men pass mildly away,
And whisper to their souls to go,
Whilst some of their sad friends do say
The breath goes now, and some day, No;

So let us melt, and make no noise,
No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;
'Twere profanation of our joys
To tell the laity our love.

Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears,
Men reckon what it did and meant;
But trepidation of the spheres,
Though greater far, is innocent.

Dull sublunary lovers' love
(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
The thing which elemented it.

But we, by a love so much refined,
That our selves know not what it is,
Inter-assurèd of the mind,
Care less, eyes, lips and hands to miss.

Our two souls therefore, which are one,
Though I must go, endure not yet
A breach, but an expansion,
Like gold to airy thinness beat.

If they be two, they are two so
As stiff twin compasses are two;
Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show
To move, but doth, if th' other do.

And though it in the centre sit,
Yet, when the other far doth roam,
It leans, and hearkens after it,
And grows erect, as that comes home.

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,
Like th' other foot, obliquely run;
Thy firmness makes my circle just,
And makes me end where I begun.
- John Donne

Another Word of the Day

dilettante: one who dabbles in the arts; an amateur; an admirer of the arts or of a particular field of study; a dabbler - someone with a broad but shallow attachment to any field

The origin of this word: the Latin word for 'delight'

Why I chose this word: This is a word I hear or read occasionally without really knowing the meaning of or bothering to look up.

Actual use of the word found on the web: She was, in the parlance of the time, a 'sermon taster', going to any church where the preaching was supposed to be good; for a dilettante churchgoer Brighton was then an exciting place to be.-- Matthew Sturgis

Word of the Day

Being a word person, I thought it might be fun and interesting to feature an occasional 'Word of the Day' on my blog. (As if I hadn't already driven most of my once loyal readers away...)

To be featured on my blog, the words must meet the following criteria:

1. I must not know the definition of the word with any degree of certainty. It must be at least vaguely unfamiliar to me.

2. I must believe that the word would be useful to know. I must be able to imagine using it at some point in the future outside of a standardized testing scenario.

So, without further ado, my first word of the day:

bucolic: suggesting an idyllic rural life; pastoral; charming in its pastoral setting

An actual example found on the web: "Sonoma Valley is an attractive place -- a bit of boutique bucolic, for sure."

Why I chose this word: I heard Laura Ingraham use this word in a sentence the other morning on her radio program and realized I really should know that word!

Another Picture from Downtown Salt Lake

This is a former popcorn factory on 21st South near 9th East in Salt Lake City. I thought it had an interesting old faded sign.

Another Bumper Sticker Seen in Salt Lake (Years Ago)...

Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe.

Why Do I Like This Sign?

I took this picture behind a men's clothing store in downtown Salt Lake. I actually saw it days before and returned with my camera to take it, but WHY? I can't explain that part. Anyway, I hope you like it, too.

Recently Seen on a Bumper Sticker in Salt Lake...

Be kind - unwind.