Realization: Maybe I Am the Center of the Universe

It occurred to me this morning while serving cold cereal, signing school notes, tying pony tails, and writing out a lunch money check that moms are (sometimes) the center of the universe.

For years I've tried to remember that I am NOT the center of the universe - that I don't have to control everything or be involved in everything - but in the lives of four of my favorite people, I am, like it or not. It dawned on me for the first time that for them I am THE MOM, the only mom. They have a right to rely on me, and it is my privilege to serve them as I teach them to rely on themselves.

Two Brief Observations:

1. If we were a family of nudists, we wouldn't have much laundry.

2. I figured out why gardening provides an opportunity to think. It's because you have big gaps in effort while you put off the next dreaded gardening chore. Just now I found myself staring off into our aspen tree several times (and for long stretches) while digging holes for new plants.

Wanted: Error-Proof Systems

Over the course of many years, I've identified several systems required to run our household. A system is defined as a functionally related group of elements, and just like computer systems, our home systems crash all the time. The problem is you can't control-alt-delete the laundry room or the kitchen....But wouldn't it be nice sometimes if you could?

Here is a brief list of some of the "functionally related elements" of our two most problematic systems:

kitchen - planning the meals; listing groceries and supplies needed; studying the grocery ads; shopping; carrying the groceries in; putting the groceries away; cooking; setting the table; clearing the table; loading the dishwasher; unloading the dishwasher; cleaning surfaces; sweeping and mopping the floor; purging the refridgerator; taking out the trash; organizing pantry and cupboards; deeper cleaning (oven, stove hood, etc.)

laundry - acquiring an adequate wardrobe (x 6) that fits well and is seasonally appropriate; altering clothing as needed; acquiring household linens for kitchen, beds, and bathrooms; gathering laundry from throughout the house; spot treating and sorting items into one of four groups: whites, lights, darks, towels/linens; processing loads through washing machine; moving loads to dryer; folding; putting away in drawers; hanging hang-ups; ironing; mending; purging closets and drawers of clothes no longer warn; storing clothes out of season; storing coats and winter gear; storing shoes

A glitch at any point in a system threatens the entire process. By analyzing each system's elements I hope to be able to identify and repair problem areas....

By the time my children are grown and gone I should have housekeeping down to a science.

P.S. If you want a good chuckle, read this article from Housekeeping Monthly in 1955, recommended by my favorite Rush Limbaugh substitute host, Walter E. Williams, an economist: http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/misc/days.pdf It's priceless.

Home Sweet Home Again

Pictures: Succulents at Disneyland (we have no succulents here, as far as I know), Friday afternoon traffic on the 405 freeway in Los Angeles , and the beach at Corona del Mar on Saturday. It was a lovely beach and town, but I am still suffering with a crispy sunburn - the most painful sunburn I've ever had. Ouch!

It was a nice non-vacation. I'm beginning to figure out that we, as a family, really do not know how to vacation. We go places, yes, but then we run ourselves ragged. There's really no rest until we're home again and our lives return to normal (usually days later, when we've caught up with the laundry).

I never go anywhere (and I mean ANYwhere - not even to the grocery store) without a notebook and a pen, and one afternoon in California I found myself whiling away a few minutes by myself in the car with the window down, so I scribbled down some of the smells of California: a flowering bush, green grass, dust, and exhaust fumes.

Los Angeles is a HUGE place! Our own valley, by comparison, is a manageable size. I'll never complain about traffic again.

The most fascinating place we visited was a yachting surplus store where they sold new and used nautical charts, sails, propellers, roaps, flags, compasses, brass plaques, pullies, etc. It was definitely not for tourists, and we landlubbers were in the way. We stopped in originally to see if they sold t-shirts. I was hoping to replace my long lost Frank's Fisherman's Supply t-shirt that I bought in San Francisco in 1981.

It was good to be in California, but it's always good to be home.

Word of the Day: Relaxation

I'm about to embark on another vacation, so the word of the day is RELAXATION. I need to re-acquaint myself with that concept. I know it's a universally understood word (unlike my other "Word of the Day" entries, which are more obscure), but I think it's a word a lot of people like me (largely parent types) need to familiarize themselves with.

Relaxation:

• abatement or relief from mental or bodily work, effort, or application;
• a loosening or slackening;
• refreshment of body or mind

Last week in Tennessee I realized that a good vacation provides an opportunity to step out of your life already in progress and look at it from a distance. I had a just toured a plantation, so I likened it to the expanse of lawn that leads to the mansion. From a distance you can look at the home and see if its columns are straight or its roof lines are sagging.

You have to step away sometimes to see things accurately. Time will do that, if you're willing to wait. Reading a book will do that sometimes. A good drive will do it. But a good vacation seems to do it best for me. I come home re-vitalized, ready to make some changes.

More Images of Tennessee (Back Home Now)

Gone Fishin'...I Mean, Gone to Tennessee