Bumper Stickers

For someone without a real commute, I spend too much time in traffic. Thank goodness for bumper stickers! (On the other hand, there are some bumper stickers I could definitely live without. It's amazing what some people will reveal about themselves, proudly, I suppose, on the exterior of their vehicles.)

Anyway, here are some I found enjoyable or thought-provoking. I didn't personally observe most of these, though. I found them on the web:

Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to suck you out of your car.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
If this sticker is getting smaller, the light is probably green.
Eternity: Smoking or Non?
A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
Beer: The reason I get up every afternoon.
Bomb Squad: If you see me running, you'd better catch up.
Conceive. Believe. Achieve.
Despite the cost of living, have you ever noticed that it remains so popular?
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Don't miss heaven for the world!
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
Hug a logger - you'll never go back to trees.
Earth first! We'll log the other planets later.
Elvis is dead and I'm not feeling too well myself.
Eschew obfuscation.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Everything I need to know I learned in prison.
Florida: Home of electile dysfunction.
Florida: If you think we can't vote, wait 'til you see us drive!
Forget about world peace - visualize using your turn signal.
Getting on your feet requires getting off your butt.
Gravity always gets me down.
Gravity: It's not just a good idea, it's the law!
Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy!
Hogwarts dropout.
Honk if anything falls off.
Honk if I'm paying your mortgage.
Honk if you like peace and quiet.
Honk if you've never seen an uzi fired from a car window.
How many roads must a man drive down before he admits he is lost?
Humpty-Dumpty was pushed.
I'm not speeding - I'm qualifying.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I fish, therefore I lie.
I should never have invented the electoral college. - Al Gore
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Never eat more than you can lift.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
One more repo and I'll be debt free.
Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
Proud mother of a juvenile delinquent.
Relish today. Ketchup tomorrow.
Stop global whining.
There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.
What if the Hokey-Pokey really is what it's all about?
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.