More Quotes (Again)

I know...Quotes! Quotes! Quotes! And some people don't like quotes, but I love them because they make me think and/or laugh. I finished transcribing my very first quote collection from a small pink corduroy blank book to the computer this week. I remember walking to the drug store in high school to buy that quote book, and it took me years to fill it up. Now I have several others still waiting to be transcribed. I rarely write quotes down by hand anymore as I stumble across them -- I just type them directly into the computer. Saves a step.

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this eclectic assortment of quotes:

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. – Popular Mechanics, 1949

The average person has one ovary and one testicle. – Statistical fact, proving that statistics are not the whole story

I am a brain, Watson. The rest of me is a mere appendix. – Sherlock Holmes, in Arthur Conan Doyle’s “The Adventure of the Mazarin Stone”

Men’s natures are alike; it is their habits that carry them far apart. – Confucius 500 BC

When the pilot told us to brace and grab our ankles, the first thing that went through my mind was that we must all look pretty stupid. – Jeremiah Rawlings, age 12, after the 1989 DC-10 crash in Sioux City, Iowa

I am a bit suspicious of any theory that says that the highest moral stage is one in which people talk like college professors. – James Q. Wilson, The Moral Sense, 1993

I am still learning. – Michelangelo, 1560, age 85

In youth we learn. In age we understand. – Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach, Aphorisms, 1883

For some reason, possibly to save ink, the restaurants have started printing their menus in letters the height of bacteria. – Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns Fifty, 1998

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. – Scottish author John Buchan, 1875-1940

The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize. - Robert Hughes

Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God. - Leon Bloy

An irrational passion for dispassionate rationality will take all the joy out of life. - John Maurice Clark

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Librarians...possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth-breather there is. - Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor

Sometimes I do get to places just when God's ready to have somebody click the shutter. ~Ansel Adams

Lisa: "Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness." - Matt Groening, The Simpsons

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ~David Carradine

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part. ~Shirley MacLaine

The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh