Anonymity & Independence

When I frequent a business establishment of some kind (a bank, a restaurant, a shop...whatever) I like to be anonymous. I do not want anyone who works there to know my name, or, if they know it anyway, to let me know that they know it. I like my anonymity. (As if I were famous or something!)

Is that weird or what? I'm not sure anyone else in America feels this way.

I know most people like doing business with people they know. They like walking into a bank and being recognized as a frequent customer or going into a restaurant where the waiter knows exactly what they want to order. For whatever quirky reason, I do not.

I was thinking about this today, because I was considering going to a clothing store where they go overboard on customer service, which actually keeps me away. You know: can I hold that for you? Can I find you a different size? Would you like to see it in a different color? etc., etc. You walk in and ten minutes later they know everything about you -- your name, your size, your color preferences, what the occasion is you're shopping for...everything! I do not need them to gather all of this information. I like to shop independently. I can look at the clothes myself and assess whether or not I want to try them on.

Places like this assume you don't really know what looks good on you, so you need lots of extra help. In my case, they are probably right, but I still prefer to dress myself. When I am shopping, I'm not asking for a makeover. I just want to find something I like.

When Scott worked downtown, he used to frequent a fast food Japanese place at lunch. I knew he ate there often, but I had no idea how often until I accompanied him one day and the person behind the counter greeted him by name and asked, 'The usual?' Scott looked at me sheepishly while I laughed. I still tease him about it.

I guess I came to this opinion when we were first married. We bought life insurance from a neighbor of ours, a very nice guy we liked a lot. But when we had to make a change to the policy, he put us on a guilt trip. We almost capitulated to his objection just to be neighborly, when we realized that if we did not know our insurance agent, we would have no emotional attachment to him and could make decisions independently. That's how commercial decisions should be made.

Don't get me wrong -- I prefer to shop locally and keep the money flowing in my own community. I feel personally responsibile when a local establishment goes out of business -- I really do! Like I should have patronized that tanning salon more, even though I don't use tanning salons.

Basically, if I lived in 1980s Boston, I would not frequent Cheers, 'where everybody knows your name,' and if I lived in 1960s Mayberry, I would be tempted to drive all the way to Raleigh to do my shopping. That's just me.