ET in L.V. Phones Home

Here I am in Vegas, also known as "sin city."

I am an alien in a strange part of the universe, sending missives to my home planet.

First the measurables: Land - barren, flat, layering mountains in the distance. Air - dry. Temperature - hot (but cooling through the end of the week, according to a weather prophet on television).

Lifeforms: Fauna - 100% adult, biped, semi-aquatic humanoids (no animals anywhere in sight, multiple cement pools.) White tigers and sharks are also rumored to exist. Flora - spectacular palm trees and flowers, no grass.

Females -backs of their feet inexplicably elevated on stilts. Skin appears airbrushed, golden. Hair defies gravity, voluminous. Clothiers very economical in use of fabrics, many of which mimic the metallic scales of invertebrates or the patterned skins of exotic mammals. Females commonly use strings to maintain modesty with small scraps of fabric, indicating that fabric is in short supply and probably very costly.

Males - travel individually with solitary females or rove in bands with other men, often mourning the impending nuptials of one or more of them; relaxed, casual, observant, vocal.

Children - non-existent.

Living Conditions - humanoids occupy rooms in communal bunkers fashioned to resemble pyramids, palaces, and urban landmarks from other places on the planet, artificially reassembled here for unknown purposes. Bunkers' dim interiors filled with blinking, whistling robots, which possess trance-like power over humanoids who walk too slowly past them. Humanoids who keep a lively pace and appear to have someplace else to go escape expensive mesmerizing powers.

Social Customs - individual smoke inhalation commonplace. Mind-numbing liquids available at every crossroads. Clothing optional, at least in advertising.

I know these early observations appear to be critical of Las Vegas, but I don't mean for them to be. There are a lot of things I like about Las Vegas that have surprised me this trip. I should probably focus on the positive.

Like Ping Pang Pong, the Chinese restaurant we dined at last night. Phenomenal!

I really like our hotel with its Egyptian motif...but more about that next time.