Anti-Celeb

Just now, while cleaning the kitchen, I clicked on an Oprah re-run, hoping to overhear a discussion of some interesting topic. Instead, seated next to Oprah in a luxuriously soft leather chair, was Jennifer Anniston. I have nothing against Jennifer Anniston -- I'm sure she's a fine person -- but she epitomizes one of the things I dislike about pop culture -- namely, celebrity worship.

Her hair is very pretty and she has a pleasant face and figure. People loved her in "Friends," a show I never watched. [I tried watching a few times but couldn't relate to the self-absorbed angst and sexual meanderings of the show's characters. My overall impression of the show is that it featured a lot of whining, and Jennifer Anniston's character seemed to whine the most, or maybe that was just her voice.]

When I was in junior high and crazy about a professional baseball player (who shall remain anonymous), I remember asking myself if I would still like him if he were a plumber arriving at our house to fix a clogged drain. I decided that I would still probably think he was cute, yes, but he would lose some of his allure without the uniform, the stats, and, let's be honest, the Porsche and the salary.

I've put other celebrities to the plumber test since then and found that all of them would lose some of their appeal if they weren't famous. The fame is what makes Jennifer Anniston Jennifer Anniston. Without the fame, she would be just a normal person - more attractive than most people, maybe, but no more interesting or insightful.

Jennifer Anniston's stock went up when she married the even more famous Brad Pitt. Her stock went up again when he left her for the even more famous Angelina Jolie.

What is it about human beings that makes us care about people we have never met and will never meet? Why do some people care about the political views of rap 'artists' and other entertainers? I know that many celebrities feel they need to use their God-given celebrity soapboxes to speak out on important issues of the day, but I wish they wouldn't. I also do not want to know details of their personal lives, like whether or not they bikini wax or have hair extensions. I really, really, really do not care.

On the other hand, I find real people fascinating. I was sitting in a doctor's office today, and, while waiting for my son, started chatting with an elderly woman on oxygen sitting nearby. I asked her if she likes to cook (we were watching a cooking show on the Food Network.) 'No, not anymore,' she said. 'Sick of it.' 'Me, too.' The celebrity chef was using ground lamb to make meatballs. 'I used to buy lambs right here in the valley from a farmer, but he's gone now,' she said.

I have a feeling that woman has a story to tell, and it would probably be more interesting and insightful (to me, anyway) than Jennifer Anniston's.